“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.”
Romans 7:19
Have you ever desired or imagined yourself living a life that is in harmony with God? A life where you walked with him and had fellowship with the Holy Spirit without any shadow of doubt but then remembered how you are on a daily basis, how you would hear the word of God and still continue doing the very same things that hurt you, others and draw you away from God. This can lead you to think and believe that it is impossible for you to change not only for the better but to be just exactly how the Lord calls us to be holy as He is.
However, you and I are the very people God is looking for to glorify Himself; these hard and evil hearts of ours are the very hearts the Lord is willing to change and work with. And that is something He will not only do now and in the future but is something He has always been doing.
We see this in the life of David, a man after God’s own heart, who sleeps with his soldier’s wife Bethsheba, and later gets this faithful soldier Uriah to be killed. David orders that Uriah be placed where the fighting was fierce and have his fellow soldiers withdraw from him so that he may die. God, however, continued to be with David as King of Israel after he had repented of his sins (2 Samuel 11-12).
Moses, defined as a man who was very meek above all men upon the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3), a man whom God spoke to face to face, is the very same man who once upon a time killed an Egyptian man out of rage because of mistreating a Hebrew. God still called him to lead the children of Israel to the promised land after Moses had repented and surrendered himself to God.
Samson, born to be peculiar, set aside as a Nazarene with a special ability of strength and might, and called to lead the Israelites, is the very same man who disregarded his peculiarity and calling by doing things that a Nazarene man wasn’t supposed to do. Things such as coming in contact with a carcass and drinking wine. He then married a Philistine woman from Timnah against his parents’ wish, and later on sleeps with a whore in Gaza and falls in love with a woman from their enemies’ camp, Delilah. After realizing his flaws and asking for forgiveness from God, God returns his strength in such a way that Samson killed more Philistines than he ever had (Judges 16).
Peter, an overzealous and impulsive disciple, one with a big heart is a disciple who together with James and John shared intimacy with Jesus that other disciples never experienced. He promises that even if all the other disciples could leave Jesus, he wouldn’t. He would rather die where Jesus dies (Mathew 26:35). However, he later denies Jesus when He was about to be crucified, denying Him three times to the point of even using uncouth words. But after realizing his sin, he weeps bitterly in repentance which led him to be asked by Jesus after His resurrection to Feed His Sheep (John 21:15-17).
In whatever state we might be in, having good motives about our lives in Christ but lacking the character to live a life that pleases Him, a life of spiritual fulfillment and growth, God is more than able and willing still to use us for His glory. We need only to come to Him just as we are, and repent of our wrong doing. He wants to, and will use us to His glory because only He can change us to be more like him.